Jual Brankas Murah
7 years ago
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Hiatus - post college
So....it's been quite awhile since I updated anything on the site (almost 6 months). A strange hiatus has occured in my life ever since graduation - a much needed break from the art world I would say. A lot has happened in my life since college ended - both the good and the bad. The transition has been incredibly difficult though. I moved from Bay View to Riverwest with my old roomate Charlie over the summer. I now work full time as a cook in Cudahy at this awesome place called Tat's bar and grill on layton and lake drive. 6 months after graduation I didn't expect to be cooking as a career, but life works in peculiar ways much of the time. I can say however, I am happy here, as I work with Ryan - my best friend who I've known for about 6 years now. My bosses are really cool and I love the independent local attitude and productivity of how Tat's operates. It's not coporate America and I love that! That and I get to watch football season play out and listen to music all day at work - way better than any job I've ever had. :) I love cooking - it's given me a great satisfaction, and I'm actually making something with my time instead of just being the system's bitch as a waiter.
Anyways - lets backtrack about 3 months ago. My life was what I would describe as tanking out hardcore - No hours at work. No buss pass. No food. soupkitchens. No success at finding a relevant college career. depression. isolation. - you get the picture. I did no art this summer at all for the most part - Which was the strangest part of the whole picture. I've been on almost a half year hiatus from creating art - the longest period of not doing art since I started drawing at age 4. What I did do was write. I wrote a lot - like everyday. Words for some reason found a higher impact this summer than sketch strokes and digital art. I wrote this about mid summer:
Middle of the month, with no progress to show
A loss of motivation, has got me movin way to slow
Rainy days bring things even slower here
insecurities linger, wrapped and bottled up – shouting towards the rear
Im a child in a bubble
Lost in the wreckage – rebel inside the rubble
Its my Ode to the fall through
Home to the past due
Smile inside a frowned out face
Ain’t no way to win this race
Not so easy competition
wish I’d bought heavier ammunition
Zombies walk as strangers talk
I need to feel my bathroom caulk
Life is far past unglued
As I wish for grandeur mood
The moon is right and out of sight
Moves in flight remain moves in plight.
The battlegrounds are keeping me
abrasive with a light to see.
Feel like a one legged dog
But I don’t want no sympathy
All I want is to feel the truth
Even when its left us all alone.
Do you see me through all the fog banks?
As I heal my wounds on the lonely road
I should be riding the waves I built
But instead I’m wandering the shoreline in question
The chasm inside me has exposed me to this
And my heart’s heavy trials compel me to change it.
another piece a month later:
Trickle of August
The weeks trickle by like a leak from the faucet
Infrastructure collapsed from within the hollow shell of things
So, Today I sit again
Trying to piece something together
There’s nothing left to take from me,
As I watch myself bleed these tangents down to the floor
The fragile collapsed. My fragile collapsed.
Oh how I wish I could be someone else
God,
Where did I place myself?
No one is here to help me up
My friends left me weeks ago….
Just like in every deck of cards,
Someone always gets handed the joker
The morning bleeds to afternoon bleeds to evening bleeds to something….
Oh god, show me some kind of healing
Please allow me some kind of release
I fight relapse- I won’t let it take me away again
The streets. The ocean. The grass blades. Sleep gently…..
I’m still here dreaming everyday right on cue
I’m still waiting in ambience as I forgot my forgiveness
Where should I let this take me?
Where are the people I thought were close?
I pass garbage filled streets on my ways
I pass old men awaiting their better days
Life strung out and cold
Life evaluated defective, tied up and sold
PLEASE GOD LIFT ME UP
LIFT ME UP BEFORE I GO AWAY……
Looking back things were quite a mess. I'm glad things are drastically different now. I think a lot has to do with the fact I'm 70 days clean tomorrow from both drugs and alcohol - not cigarettes (thats too much too fast). I'm in counseling on North and Prospect and it has been going extremely well. I love the people in my group - I gained an incredible amount of insight on all types of things we talk about there. I'm there because of an OWI I got last December. I was an idiot and I deserved it, and now I'm moving forwards with my life. I can't wait to get my licence and my car back :)
Anyways - lets backtrack about 3 months ago. My life was what I would describe as tanking out hardcore - No hours at work. No buss pass. No food. soupkitchens. No success at finding a relevant college career. depression. isolation. - you get the picture. I did no art this summer at all for the most part - Which was the strangest part of the whole picture. I've been on almost a half year hiatus from creating art - the longest period of not doing art since I started drawing at age 4. What I did do was write. I wrote a lot - like everyday. Words for some reason found a higher impact this summer than sketch strokes and digital art. I wrote this about mid summer:
Middle of the month, with no progress to show
A loss of motivation, has got me movin way to slow
Rainy days bring things even slower here
insecurities linger, wrapped and bottled up – shouting towards the rear
Im a child in a bubble
Lost in the wreckage – rebel inside the rubble
Its my Ode to the fall through
Home to the past due
Smile inside a frowned out face
Ain’t no way to win this race
Not so easy competition
wish I’d bought heavier ammunition
Zombies walk as strangers talk
I need to feel my bathroom caulk
Life is far past unglued
As I wish for grandeur mood
The moon is right and out of sight
Moves in flight remain moves in plight.
The battlegrounds are keeping me
abrasive with a light to see.
Feel like a one legged dog
But I don’t want no sympathy
All I want is to feel the truth
Even when its left us all alone.
Do you see me through all the fog banks?
As I heal my wounds on the lonely road
I should be riding the waves I built
But instead I’m wandering the shoreline in question
The chasm inside me has exposed me to this
And my heart’s heavy trials compel me to change it.
another piece a month later:
Trickle of August
The weeks trickle by like a leak from the faucet
Infrastructure collapsed from within the hollow shell of things
So, Today I sit again
Trying to piece something together
There’s nothing left to take from me,
As I watch myself bleed these tangents down to the floor
The fragile collapsed. My fragile collapsed.
Oh how I wish I could be someone else
God,
Where did I place myself?
No one is here to help me up
My friends left me weeks ago….
Just like in every deck of cards,
Someone always gets handed the joker
The morning bleeds to afternoon bleeds to evening bleeds to something….
Oh god, show me some kind of healing
Please allow me some kind of release
I fight relapse- I won’t let it take me away again
The streets. The ocean. The grass blades. Sleep gently…..
I’m still here dreaming everyday right on cue
I’m still waiting in ambience as I forgot my forgiveness
Where should I let this take me?
Where are the people I thought were close?
I pass garbage filled streets on my ways
I pass old men awaiting their better days
Life strung out and cold
Life evaluated defective, tied up and sold
PLEASE GOD LIFT ME UP
LIFT ME UP BEFORE I GO AWAY……
Looking back things were quite a mess. I'm glad things are drastically different now. I think a lot has to do with the fact I'm 70 days clean tomorrow from both drugs and alcohol - not cigarettes (thats too much too fast). I'm in counseling on North and Prospect and it has been going extremely well. I love the people in my group - I gained an incredible amount of insight on all types of things we talk about there. I'm there because of an OWI I got last December. I was an idiot and I deserved it, and now I'm moving forwards with my life. I can't wait to get my licence and my car back :)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
life...
So there are 2 days left on the clock until the end of college. Tomorrow night marks the end of things present and the start of a million possibilities for the future. I probably should finish the last couple projects I have to work on - but I'll revel in the last all-nighter I pull as a college student! I just want my diploma, and a beer in my hand.
The world feels more complex and layered then it ever did before. Contradiction runs frequent like smoke breaks these days. The world is awake and asleep. Even the people close to me bounce between the origami fog and an elegant balance of systems. Tension is high, and exhaustion is here. Critique for thesis today felt like sitting on an iron fence on a sunny day with storm clouds breaking the good vibes and raining the parade away. My head hurts but I'm thankful for the most critical advice I know I could get. Even though the end product is pretty solid - I'm still not happy with it. Its got a lot of tweaking and testing on audiences that needs to be done before I call it quits. It doesn't speak for me the way it should, because I've realized how scattered my life is right now. There is no cohesiveness to my personal life so to make resolution in my art that speaks that way is almost impossible. I would say I'm lost and about to get a whole lot more lost.....and I feel comfortable with that. At least I'm being honest with myself and critical with the things before me - whatever or whoever that/ they may be.
Everyone wants everything to be wrapped up in a nice little pretty box to sell to the masses. Artists and buyers alike. Fuck that. I'll take your box and shit in it! - Your statement is clear but your presentation is just is cliche as my statements. Stop selling out to your own imagination just because you picked the side you did. Sometimes I think our ego's get the best of us a lot here. Its the pickiest personal flaws I feel like are always coming up now in critique - and its like are you fucking serious - let me make my fucking art - do I look like I'm 12 or something? I feel so fucking jaded - my spirit sits and is awaiting release....
We don't like what we don't understand - This became apparent again today for like the 300th time. I get off on the fact you don't understand - Its like a game of control and no one knows who's in control - Cause you're just a smart animal walking with one just as intelligent.
At least I am awake to the social coma society tends to trap so many of us in. I cannot say this for many people I know here at school, because I haven't had the opportunity to talk deeply with them on this topic, nor at this point do I really care. I just want to move on to the next phase of my life - I think I've grown tired of feeling like a child on the playground here. I'm 22 and not getting any younger.... we all find our own way and I don't see things the way you do.
I say I'm glad to leave because I feel like we've all grown a little too ego-centric to be playing on the jungle-gyms here anymore. I think stepping away from the art world for a while will be incredibly healthy.
My name is jiiggy zoo - I am an artist. My name is runaway - I sell my paintings. My name is ego - I fight the system. My name is Christopher - and I'm unlike you....
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Demo Reel 2009 / Senior Thesis show (U&R Entertainment)
This is my final demo reel for 2009. Its purpose is to showcase my animation/ video/ filmmaking skills as a brief introduction of myself to the art industry.
"Solid Boss"
"Mirrors" music video for Quick-50
U&RTV studio set space
1 week before the show
HD flat-screen mounted
BALLA!
Me
Derek, Ryan, Oona
Nate + Derek
The Wall - Day 1
This is the end results of my time spent at MIAD (Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design) I graduate with degrees in video and animation (concentration in photography) in May 2009.
The following images are a time lapse of our installation space for our (Myself and Derek Dobbels - U&R Entertainment llc.) Senior Thesis show.
"B-Crew"
"Solid Boss"
"Mirrors" music video for Quick-50
U&RTV studio set space
1 week before the show
HD flat-screen mounted
BALLA!
Me
Derek, Ryan, Oona
Erik, Dobbels, Nate, Travis
Nate + Derek
The Wall - Day 1 U&RTV studio space
The Struggle [vers.1.0]
"The Struggle" - written and recorded by Christopher Bialk. Beats by 'Illustrate'. Lil Gou is a fictitious rapper played by Wil Lewis (Wil Lewis Photography). The Struggle is a rap track poking fun at Jihad terrorist organizations for their ridiculous statements and videos. The video is a collaboration between Christopher J. Bialk - Direction, cameras, editing, audio, Derek Dobbels - Lighting/ camera, and Wil Lewis - acting. This is the first cut - this video is still in the post phase. 2008-2009.
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